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Amethyst's World
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I have carried card with "Footprints" printed on it in my wallet for many years. It was given to me at an AA meeting I attended with Johnny when I was about 18. His mother placed an identical card in Johnny's hand in the casket.
Below is the card that I made to place in the casket with him. Desperado by The Eagles was our song. He would call me his Queen of Hearts ... always his best bet. Unfortunately he was a very bad gambler. Johnny also LOVED the Rolling Stones. I knew that something about the Stones had to go with him. Of course, this is the one time I couldn't find a single item. I went to five different music stores and they didn't have so much as a bumper sticker. The Rolling Stones newest release, Forty Licks, was due out the day after the funeral. The last shop I went into was unpacking boxes of it. The packing tape on the box had the RS logo. Once I explained what I was doing, the kids in the shop were nice enough to carefully remove some of the tape from the box for me.
To Where You Are a song performed by Josh Groban Who can say for certain Maybe you're still here I feel you all around me Your memories so clear Deep in the stillness I can hear you speak You're still an inspiration Can it be That you are mine Forever love And you are watching over me from up above Fly me up to where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight To see you smile If only for awhile to know you're there A breath away's not far To where you are Are you gently sleeping Here inside my dream And isn't faith believing All power can't be seen As my heart holds you Just one beat away I cherish all you gave me everyday 'Cause you are mine Forever love Watching me from up above And I believe That angels breathe And that love will live on and never leave Fly me up To where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight To see you smile If only for awhile To know you're there A breath away's not far To where you are I know you're there A breath away's not far To where you are I Believe Skip Ewing/Donny Kees Every now and then soft as breath upon my skin I feel you come back again And it’s like you haven’t been gone a moment from my side Like the tears were never cried Like the hands of time are holding you and me And with all my heart I’m sure we’re closer than we ever were I don’t have to hear or see, I’ve got all the proof I need There are more than angels watching over me I believe, I believe Chorus That when you die your life goes on It doesn’t end here when you’re gone Every soul is filled with light It never ends and if I’m right Our love can even reach across eternity I believe, I believe Forever, you’re a part of me Forever, in the heart of me And I’ll hold you even longer if I can The people who don’t see the most Say that I believe in ghosts And if that makes me crazy, then I am ‘Cause I believe There are more than angels watching over me I believe, I believe
8/27/2003 - Has it
really been almost a year already. I thought time was supposed to ease the pain.
I still miss him so very much.
Music was very
important to Johnny and I. We had lots of songs. I would always tell him that I
would never again in my life be able to hear a Stones song without thinking of
him. He would say the same was true of Journey songs for him. I used to LOVE
Journey.
Songs are still
blindsiding me. I think they are Johnny's way of telling me he is still with me.
I was just sitting at my desk thinking of him when I became aware of Wild Horses
playing on the radio. The line that grabbed my attention was "let's do some
living after we die. Wild horses couldn't drag me away". This isn't the first
time that has happened either. I'm going to start to put the song lyrics that
have meaning to me here.
Childhood living is easy to do The things you wanted I bought them for you Graceless lady you know who I am You know I can’t let you slide through my hands Wild horses couldn’t drag me away Wild, wild horses, couldn’t drag me away I watched you suffer a dull aching pain Now you decided to show me the same No sweeping exits or offstage lines Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind Wild horses couldn’t drag me away Wild, wild horses, couldn’t drag me away I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie I have my freedom but I don’t have much time Faith has been broken, tears must be cried Let’s do some living after we die Wild horses couldn’t drag me away Wild, wild horses, we’ll ride them some day Wild horses couldn’t drag me away Wild, wild horses, we’ll ride them some day By Martina McBride There you are in the early light of day There you are in the quiet words I pray I've been blessed by the simple happiness Of the perfect love we've made Every time I turn around When I'm lose and when I'm found Like an angel standing guard There you are Every time I take a breath and when I forget to breathe You're watching over me there you are When I'm looking for the light in the middle of the night Searching for the brightest star There you are There you are in standing in a crowded room There you are the earth and I'm the moon My desire is to stand by the fire That burns inside of you Every time I turn around When I'm lose and when I'm found Like an angel standing guard There you are Every time I take a breath and when I forget to breathe You're watching over me there you are When I'm looking for the light in the middle of the night Searching for the brightest star There you are 9/18/2003 I'll Be Seeing You by Cindi Thomson I'll be seeing you Hey don't forget your coat I'll be seeing you Feels like it's turning cold I hate that you're leaving With so much unsaid and This strange empty feeling Won't let me forget That I'll be seeing you I'll be seeing you Oh, that beautiful smile I'll be seeing you Sure as I'm seeing you now Around every corner Wherever I go Every moment of everyday Darling I know That I'll be seeing you I'll be seeing you Oh the nights I've cried But maybe, just maybe In time, I'll be fine I'll be seeing you When I close my eyes I'll be seeing you I've got you memorized I'll always love you I know you know that And I know that in my heart That you're not coming back But in everything I do I'll be seeing you... 11/05/2005 Who You'd Be Today by Kenny Chesney Sunny days seem to hurt the most I wear the pain like a heavy coat I feel you everywhere I go I see your smile, I see your face I hear you laughin' in the rain Still can't believe you're gone. It ain't fair you died too young Like a story that had just begun But death tore the pages all away God knows how I miss you All the hell that I been through Just knowin' no one could take your place Sometimes I wonder Who you'd be today. Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams Settle down with a family I wonder what would you name your babies Somedays the sky's so blue I feel like I can talk to you And I know it might sound crazy. It ain't fair you died too young Like a story that had just begun But death tore the pages all away God knows how I miss you All the hell that I been through Just knowin' no one could take your place Sometimes I wonder Who you'd be today. Today, today, today Today, today, today. Sunny days seem to hurt the most I wear the pain like a heavy coat The only thing that gives me hope Is I know I'll see you again some day Someday, someday... |
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